Creating Karma

Karma is by definition an action or deed that creates a whole new set of cause and effect. It is like throwing a little stone in a pond that creates a new ripple, influencing all the other circles already in motion. This is also sometimes known as “the butterfly effect”, which means that if a butterfly flaps its wings somewhere, at some stage it becomes a howling wind somewhere else.

In the western world, we have for a long time not used these terms, because of our background and the idea that it is of Eastern origin. But we have started to realize every day that it doesn’t matter what name you call this concept by, every action of every day, and every word I use influences our world. Every moment a new ripple effect starts and influences my partner, my children and the whole world.

Throughout the Bible we see the concept of cause and effect. From Adam and Eve, through Genesis, the Old Testament and Jesus, up to Revelations and the final judgement. Everything starts with a small little rock of my thoughts and attitude. The bible tells us explicitly to keep guard of our thoughts. Whatever you might think of the “law of attraction”, the Bible says that even when something is just a thought, it can already be sinful.

I have experienced this first hand this week. I am in the process of buying a new car, and I have an idea what price range I am looking at. So I spent some time on the “Autotrader” website and more or less made up my mind what type of car I want to buy, that is good value for money. What is interesting is the fact that, although it is good value for money, I have not noticed a lot of these cars on the road. Since I looked at them on the website, you can not believe how many of them I have seen this week, even in the white color that I am interested in.

Was this coincidence, or did I manifest through my mind that there is suddenly more of these cars on the road? No, but by me becoming conscious of the car, had an influence on my brain and I have started noticing and seeing them. That made me realize how important it is what I allow and what I think in my life. To go even further, I told a friend of mine about buying one of these cars, and he also started noticing more and more of them on the road. What this tells us is that not only did my consciousness have an influence on my behavior, but also on the behavior of others, it snowballs, which makes it even more dangerous what I think.

So I was wondering to myself that if this was true about something as small as this example, how many other ideas and thoughts do I carry with me that lead to my happiness and unhappiness? Do I really understand the power of my thoughts? How much Karma do I create every day around me, and do I take responsibility for the rocks that I throw? Am I conscious of the fact that the rocks that others throw into the pond will automatically have a ripple effect and influence my ripples?

It would seem that the things that we learn as “new thoughts” in our times about spirituality, is nothing new. In most of the ancient writings, including the Bible, we learn about this concept and about our responsibility. Look out what you say, look out what you think, because there will be an effect on the world around me.

To explain it further, one of my friends told me about something that happened in her relationship the other day. She and her boyfriend went to visit her parents for some reason I can not remember. Her boyfriend was irritated all day long, and halfway through the visit, he asked her if they can leave. As you might imagine, there was a little of an atmosphere in the car back home. When they got home, they started talking about what happened and each one had their say about their feelings and how they experienced the situation. You see, Karma was created, because now every time they are invited to her parents, she is going to have doubts about if they can go or if they should rather stay at home.

Now it becomes even a bigger “issue”, as in the talk she mentioned that it is not that great for her to visit his parents. Loose words, maybe said out of retaliation or ego, but words that cut deep and that will create drama for the rest of their relationship.

In our training as psychologists and pastors, we are taught that people must be able to speak their minds and tell the other person exactly how you feel. You can only be in a relationship, when you can work out your differences. In a perfect world, this might be great. But after many years of my life, I am starting to question this action. You see, every word that you use to “work things out”, doesn’t always land with a person that trusts you completely. What usually happens is that we become so entangled in the argument that we keep on creating more and more karma that needs more and more time to sort out.

The problem might be deeper than what I am putting it there, but in practice this is a huge problem. Yes, your husband might not be the most romantic person in the world, but telling him that might bring more and more drama. Every time when there is a special occasion and he feels like doing something, your accusation might make him uneasy, for the fear of criticism. On your side, when he does bring you flowers, you might think that he is not doing it from the heart, but because you asked him to do it. So, through one observation you start an evil circle of karma. You feel that you are not important enough, because he does not satisfy your expectations, and him feeling humiliated and judged, and therefore rather do nothing.

We all remember how wonderful those first couple of weeks and moths of a relationship are. Such a relaxed atmosphere, without any criticism, judgements or fights. Naturally, this is the time of getting to know the other person, but to what end. In all relationships, there are some things that start creeping up to you on what you do not like in the other person, and we start telling each other to stop doing this and that.

After a couple of years, we have forgotten altogether what the things were that brought us together. In that “honeymoon” faze of the relationship that we enjoyed so much, we looked at reasons to be together. Later on in relationships, we see that people tend to start looking at reasons not to be together anymore. So we create a snowball effect.

It doesn’t just have to do with talking about issues, but in the way that what I do and say, and how that makes them feel. Somebody once said: “If what you want to do or say doesn’t have a positive contribution to the relationship, don’t do it and don’t say it”!

We also live in a society with lots of urban legends surrounding relationships. Men believe that women are a certain way, and therefore no relationship will ever be easy. Just listen when you are with the boys, how you are bombarded with complaints about how bad their relationships are. It was surprising that one of my best friends, who are now in a great relationship, is turning our ideas around, because we stopped believing that all relationships are hard and complicated. This type of behavior inspires us to make our own relationships better.

What we need to understand is the fact that it is not only us that create karma in our own lives, but also what we allow to influence us from the outside. This happens naturally, and we don’t even realize it. I can remember when I was a pastor, listening to so many couples and their problems, that I also started believing that no marriage can be a success. We talk about our kids about “peer pressure”, but are we so much different in our conduct every day?

I always use the example of smoking. If I am always surrounded by only smokers, I start believing that smoking is the norm. If I am somewhere where I am the only smoker, I will not think that it is the norm. We must be careful where and with what types of people we spend our time. You are not an island; those influences are around you all the time. Do not believe everything that people around you tell you. Always remember that it is their problems from their perspective, if you have to interact with people that can influence you negatively. The other alternative would be to cut all contact with these people. Nobody has the right to judge other people, but this is not judgement, it is just a conscious choice you make for your own good.

Every word and action leads to karma. It not just only leads to karma here and now, but it influences the whole world around you. It influences your attitude towards things, which in turn leads to other words and actions, which you can never take back. Once a word has been said, the stone has been cast, and you can not stop it from making its ripples.

Also be mindful of the fact that, although you are not the only one that casts stones, you can not blame others for what happens in your life. Every one of us has is a small pond, and we need to erect a fence around it which only allow those that we want to allow. We also have to make sure that people read the sign at our pond which says: “Right of admission reserved”. It is your pond, your responsibility and your life.

Do not allow others to do there as they please and vandalize your property, you have the right to throw them out. Also understand that it is you and you alone that gave them permission to enter. Not only people, but ideas.

Too many people give in to the vandalism of others. Too many people come crying to others about the vandalism. Remember, it is your pond and your pond is your responsibility. And when you go and visit another pond, or you decide to merge ponds, make sure that you are careful, and that the rocks that you throw has a calming and beneficial influence on the pond, and does not create negative karma for you and the people around you.

Remember to erect your sign: “Right of Admission Reserved” at your dam, allow only what is beneficial to visit you in person or ideas, and when visiting other ponds, remember your responsibility and what you are creating in others.